Perceived parental reactions to coming out, attachment, and romantic relationship views

Coming out as lesbian, gay, or bisexual (LGB) to one’s parents can be a challenging experience and may lead to acceptance or rejection. Attachment theory can help predict parents’ reactions to coming out and consequences for romantic attachment. In a crosssectional study of 309 LGB individuals, we found that those who perceived their mother as accepting in childhood were more likely to have come out to her. Moreover, parents perceived as accepting and independence-encouraging in childhood were reported to react more positively to their child’s sexual orientation. Mothers’ positive reactions were associated with lower romantic attachment anxiety for men. The links between parent-child relationship quality and optimism and trust in romantic relationships were mediated by romantic attachment patterns. Findings support the contention that LGB pair bonds are attachment relationships, and underline the importance of prior parent-child relationships for predicting LGB individuals’ experience of coming out and romantic relationships

The self-esteem roller coaster: Adult attachment moderates the impact of daily feedback

People with different attachment orientations rely on different sources of self-esteem. This 14-day diary study examined the impact of different types of feedback on self-esteem for adults of different attachment orientations. Consistent with theory, higher (vs. lower) anxious participants’ daily self-esteem fluctuated more with daily interpersonal feedback conveying rejection or coming from a romantic partner; they also self-reported stronger reactions to idiosyncratic negative interpersonal feedback. Higher (vs. lower) avoidant participants showed weaker daily self-esteem fluctuation with positive interpersonal feedback, and those with a fearful-avoidant attachment pattern reported stronger reactions to positive agentic feedback. Self-reported emotional reactions mediated links between attachment dimensions and self-reported impact of feedback on self-evaluations. Results highlight the importance of affect-regulation strategies in influencing regulation of self-esteem

Stigma, attachment and relationship dissolution: Commentary on Meanings of Intimacy

The chief difference between Frost’s same-sex and heterosexual couples was that same-sex couples experienced more stigma and discrimination. We discuss implications of these stressors for relationship outcomes and consider the role of attachment orientations. We also consider the imminent changes that might occur in these processes due to the legalization of same-sex marriage in the USA. In particular, we hope that stigma and discrimination against LGB couples might decrease, and that attachment security might increase, together reducing their vulnerabilities for relationship dissolution. Legalization of same-sex marriage should also provide new opportunities to investigate committed same-sex relationships alongside committed heterosexual relationships

Adult attachment and feedback-seeking patterns in relationships and work

Adults with different attachment orientations rely on different areas of life to maintain self-views. This paper reports two studies that examine the link between attachment and feedback-seeking patterns in interpersonal and competence-related domains. Participants in Study 1 imagined receiving feedback from a friend. Participants in Study 2 completed dyadic tasks and were promised feedback from interpersonal- and competence-relevant sources. Across both studies, secure individuals consistently chose the most positive feedback. Individuals high in attachment avoidance sought negative feedback over positive, although dismissing-avoidant individuals sought positive hypothetical feedback about autonomy. Study 2 further suggested that highly avoidant individuals were more open to negative feedback than positive feedback and than were secure individuals. Moreover, individuals high in attachment anxiety failed to seek positive interpersonal feedback but pursued interpersonal over competence feedback. Results highlight the role of feedback-seeking in maintenance of positive or negative self-views for adults with different attachment orientations

Attachment and romantic relationships: The role of models of self and other

Romantic love relationships are among the most endlessly fascinating, yet frustratingly complex, parts of life: inspiring more art, literature, and music than any other topic. Making sense of how and why romantic relationships function the way they do is, therefore, a research endeavour at once most rewarding and yet never-ending. Why do some relationships sail through everything that life throws at them, when others flounder at the first hiccup? Why does one friend experience drama after tumultuous drama with each new boyfriend, when another can’t trust or open up to anyone enough to get beyond a second date? Attachment theory (Bowlby, 1969, 1973, 1980) draws on clinical, developmental, social, personality, and cognitive psychology and provides a rich theoretical framework for examining and answering such perennial questions. Although it was developed originally in the context of infants and their caregivers, in recent decades the theory has also provided insight into the development and functioning of romantic relationships. This chapter describes romantic relationship processes from an attachment perspective. We highlight in particular the cognitive models of self and others that form a person’s attachment pattern or orientation. These models colour the lens with which he or she views the self and the social world, and in turn underlie individual differences in romantic relationship functioning

Attachment security and self-compassion priming increase the likelihood that first-time engagers in mindfulness meditation will continue with mindfulness training

Mindfulness practice has many mental and physical health benefits but can be perceived as ‘difficult’ by some individuals. This perception can discourage compliance with mindfulness meditation training programs. The present research examined whether the activation of thoughts and feelings related to attachment security and self-compassion (through semantic priming) prior to a mindfulness meditation session might influence willingness to engage in future mindfulness training. We expected both of these primes to positively influence participants’ willingness to continue with mindfulness training. We primed 117 meditation-naïve individuals (84 female; mean age of 22.3 years, SD = 4.83) with either a self-compassion, attachment security or a neutral control prime prior to an introductory mindfulness exercise and measured their post-session willingness to engage in further training. Both experimental primes resulted in higher willingness to engage in further mindfulness training relative to the control condition. The self-compassion prime did so indirectly by increasing state mindfulness, while the attachment security prime had a direct effect. This study supports theoretical links between self-compassion and mindfulness and reveals a causal role for these factors in promoting willingness to engage in mindfulness training. Our findings have implications for improving compliance with mindfulness intervention programs